HELLO AND WELCOME.
I’m Beth Estock.
I came to life when I was 13 years old at church camp, with a small group of other self-conscious teens while we learned about love and how to care for each other and the earth. We began that week as strangers and through the process of working as a team, we created a community of support and had lots of fun.
For the first time in my life, I felt connected to a larger purpose and a community that accepted me – my fears, my longings, my burgeoning gifts and big heart. I felt upheld by Love as I trusted in the miracle of our little community.
That experience propelled me to get my Master of Divinity degree and become a United Methodist pastor. I wanted to devote my life to creating accountable, caring communities that when let loose, could help to transform the world.
Little did I know at the time that much of my life energy would be poured into people and systems who were anxious and resistant to change. I learned through trial and error, the joys and pitfalls of leading change processes and the toll it takes on the leader.
It is an isolating feeling to make unpopular decisions for the long-term vitality of an organization. A leader begins to second guess her decisions when the push back is cruelly strong. She begins to wonder about her longevity in the position. “Will I be marginalized or fired? Will my reputation be sullied? What impact will this decision have on my family and their welfare?” Before you know it, it is easy to experience burn-out and begin to question your life purpose. What was the point of all that “work”? What redeeming value did it actually bring to the world?
At one point in my career when my children were young, I had a reoccurring dream of being alone on an Oregon beach that I could not enjoy. You see, I was focused on juggling balls with my hands while at the same time balancing on a beach ball with my feet.
I literally stopped having that dream the day I shattered my left wrist as I fell chasing after a beach ball in our family garden and then 2 weeks later broke my right foot as I was walking down a dark stairway into the basement of a church. I was rendered helpless in a wheelchair. I couldn’t drive, do the laundry or cook family meals. I had no choice but to take stock of my life as I laid in my bed cycling though crying and laughing at the absurdity of my situation while watching Oprah give cars away on TV.
It took me a while to realize that dropping the balls and losing my balance was an opportunity to finally enjoy the beach! This was an invitation to focus on my own healing.
I took a leave from work and was just beginning to relax into the rhythm of caring for myself when I was offered an interim position in a traumatized church that called forth all of my change management skills. Feeling needed, I took the job, gained 10 pounds and developed a sore back. I continued to climb the career ladder into the institutional hierarchy, helping to develop a strategic plan that embraced starting new faith communities. Even though my reputation grew as a gifted consultant beyond that institution, my days were numbered within it.
I was notified that my position was being terminated the same month that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I felt shame in losing my job, my health insurance and the ability to financially support my family. I questioned my capacities and felt like a complete failure. I raged in anger and cried in pity. This was the dark night of my soul, my unhinging. Thank God for my dear friends who accompanied me through the darkness and my yoga practice that helped me to breath into the discomfort.
This time, I trusted enough to know that this was my refining fire. My work was to show up and trust the process, letting go of any preferred outcome – one breath at a time. It was as if I was being transformed deep within. A gift arrived through surgery when we discovered the breast cancer was actually benign fatty tissue. I felt upheld by that same Love that I felt as a teenager at church camp. I was so grateful for life and at peace with whatever would come next.
All those years I had been focusing on trying to bring health to systems so that those systems could bring healing to the world. Now the focus shifted to nurturing my own healing – transforming from being afraid into the freedom to be me. What would happen if I showed up to my life renewed, grounded in my wisdom and activating from my core?
I began a three-year training process to become an Integral Master Coach™. This is a developmental coaching methodology that helps people to embody the life that longs to be lived through them. At the same time, I studied with my yoga teacher of 20 years, Simon Menasche, becoming a teacher in his lineage of prakriti (natural) yoga. It is an ancient practice of breath and movement that allows you to come into present moment awareness of your true nature.
The more I honored myself – my body, my emotions, my relationships, my quest to grow — the more capacities I developed to help leaders do the same. These threads converged when I came to realize that I could help leaders step into their fullest potentials in real time.
We are in an era of systems collapse when leaders are being stretched to the limits of their current capacities. I know how difficult it is to lead with integrity in stressed organizations. I am here to offer you a new way of being that can keep you balanced and help you to access your own deep wisdom as you navigate the swift waters of change. Whatever barriers you keep bumping up against, I can help you to discover life-giving pathways forward.
Imagine the possibilities if you were set free to live into your gifts, creativity and calling. Imagine the sweetness of simply being able to free yourself of worry and relax. I know from experience that when leaders show up in their fullness, we all benefit. There is a ripple effect that impacts your team, families and communities. When leaders thrive, we all thrive. I love my work and would be honored to support you in your leadership as well.
I'M PUBLISHED!
Weird Church: Welcome to the 21st Century
In the 21st Century we are witnessing our traditional institutions enter into rapid decline. Many folks view this with fear and dread. In the process they tend to cling to old forms that have grown irrelevant. Paul Nixon, my co-author, and I view these changes as part of our evolutionary process. Using Spiral Dynamics as our framework, we offer church leaders a clear vision of what’s coming next, so long as they’re willing to live into a few critical shifts. This book is a wake-up call for those who still think church revitalization is simply a matter of doing better the things that used to come so easily.
Praise from Don Edward Beck, PhD, Spiral Dynamics: Mastering Values, Leadership, and Change
Clearly the co-authors have meshed their insights and experiences from both sacred and secular perspectives to write a truly integral understanding of the challenges that confront humanity in the 21st Century across many different cultures. Their understanding of the unique contributions of the historic work of Professor Clare W. Graves, as reflected in the Spiral Dynamics adaptation, will serve to enrich individual and societal capacities to cope with the daunting challenges of our age. Their well-sculptured language, along with practical encouragement, will enable both the veteran minds and newly awakened spirits to probe into the complexities of Christianity and modern and cutting-edge scholarship. They have woven together a highly readable book full of powerful and rich messages for readers today and far into the future. Welcome to the launch of a new Great Awakening, one that integrates our many worlds.
Discernment: Spiritual Practices for Building a Life of Faith
by Beth Ann Estock
Discernment is a contemplative practice of slowing down and listening deeply. This book recovers this ancient practice for the 21st century. It encourages us to move beyond the corporate board room and strategic planning processes to a more intuitive, heart centered approach as we make decisions of ultimate concern for our lives.
It offers perspectives from Otto Scharmer’s Theory U process for innovation, Ken Wilber’s integral philosophy, Heartmath and stories from the New Testament as a fresh way to trust in and live out of our deep wisdom. This book focuses on the habits we need to practice in order to be open to our intuition as a source of guidance. The book can be used both individually and in a small group setting.
You can purchase the book from Amazon. Click here to purchase.